Ich Bin Ein Enfant

The Dreaded LPI….Language Proficiency Interview. It happens after receiving about four weeks of language training, and consists of a 10-15 minute interview by the head of the Language and Culture department. The LPI doesn’t really count for anything. It’s not graded, really, and is just meant to be an assessment of where you are at the current time, what your strengths are and where you could stand to focus your language studies (i.e., improve). It’s not a huge deal, and there’s no real way to study for it. It’s kind of like taking the SATs or GRE. Only it’s completely oral. And even though it’s not graded, that doesn’t mean you don’t still sweat over it. Except I didn’t. But maybe I should have.

My LPI progressed nicely, I thought. I was asked to talk about my family, my house, what I do and where I live and from whence I hail. Things like that. Then I was tossed a curve ball….a question in the future tense, which my language cluster had not studied yet. I recognized most of the words, but couldn’t place the meaning of the question, and I didn’t know why. Strike one.

The interviewer, seeing my confusion, abandoned her tack and tried another. I was asked to choose a card with a scenario in English, read it out loud (oh….did I forget to mention this entire interview was being recorded for later perusal (and, I’m assuming, hilarious entertainment) by the evaluating staff? Yeah. No pressure), and then role-play. I was able to wrack my brain and ask her one question before my brain emptied of all coherent thought. One. One question. She even tried to prompt me, and I just sat there, mouth gaping open and shut like a fish out of water. Strikes two, three, four and five.

Ah well. I knew all along my grasp of the language is tentative at best. I was told I need to work on my case endings and vocabulary (no big surprise there, as those are the very two things I noted on my self-assessment form a few days prior), and I was asked if I’d sought private tutoring yet. That was a blow to the old ego, for sure. Dang. So I left her office, lower lip protruding only slightly (I hope) and not trembling (I’m pretty sure).

Two days later, after yet another bewildering day of language training during which my brain AGAIN shut down and my emotions flooded to the surface, much to the consternation of my wonderful LCF/instructor, I was feeling pretty hopeless and useless and all of the other “less”es you can find in your dictionary. I texted my LCF that evening and apologized for my in-class breakdown, and received a reply reassuring me that all was and would be well, and not to worry about it. Several minutes later, I received yet another text, this one with the results of my LPI.

Out of the ten possible levels of language acquisition, I had already achieved the fourth level. At the end of our pre-service training, we’re expected to have attained a level five or better. There’s a light at the end of the tunnel!

In the meanwhile, I’m afraid to tell my host family about the results of my assessment. I’d hate to inform them that I managed to score as high as anyone else in my 27-person team. I’m afraid to tell them this because of what it would probably do to their image of the Peace Corps. I’m afraid, because when I’m home with them, I can do barely more than speak in infinitives….root words…..and I sound like a toddler. I am no longer feeling like a competent, accomplished businesswoman who has bounced back from challenge upon challenge. No, these days, I am generally feeling like a toddler…..unable to fully communicate, unable to adequately express my feelings.

Ich bin ein enfant. I am a child.