The invisible woman amongst us

Back when I was only at my permanent site a month, I wrote a blog entry about being stared at (“Animal, vegetable or mineral?”). That was just over seven months ago. Oh, how things have changed. Not completely changed, but enough so that I now sometimes feel I live in an alternate universe. And maybe I do. I’ll have to check with Neil DeGrasse Tyson on that.

Today, I am convinced my town turned on me. I didn’t notice it at first, because things were kind of annoyingly normal. As in, I didn’t want to get out of my warm bed, I had the same breakfast as usual (qatıq (yogurt) and toast with jam), and my internet was down for the ninth day running. But it’s the last day of the month and I needed to go to the bankomat (ATM) for my rent money, plus I knew there should be something waiting for me at the poçt (post office). So I donned my Xanım Outfit (i.e., below-the-knee black skirt, black boots, black jacket and, to not be morose, a purple sweater) and went out to catch the bus.

I was in luck! It looked like the bus I wanted was just down the road, picking up a passenger! So I waited. And waited and waited, because it wasn’t actually a bus after all, but a bread delivery van. While I was waiting, though, a car pulled out of my apartment complex and stopped, the driver got out and, lo and behold, asked if I needed a ride to the town’s center!! Wow! “Hə!! Çox sağ ol!” This was awesome….this was the first time someone I didn’t know had offered me a ride! Am I being accepted? Finally??

On the drive in, I noticed there were traffic police seemingly everywhere. This, unfortunately, tends to make the drivers impatient and cranky, since they’re used to setting their own speed limits and making up their own traffic laws. And cranky drivers means everybody else needs to be hyper aware if they’re anywhere near a roadway, especially if they’re on foot. Pedestrians definitely do not have the right-of-way in Azerbaijan, and cranky drivers and pedestrians with questionable timing do not mix.

Happily enough, the bankomat had cash in it (because you just never know), and since that was my first stop, I fairly sashayed down the sidewalk toward the poçt. Money in my pocket and bus fare saved, I decided to pop into the aptek (pharmacy) on the corner to grab some rubbing alcohol. When I went in, there were about six customers waiting, which is normal for a centrally-located aptek. And there were no lines, just a cluster of folks crowded around the window where the pharmacist works, which is also normal. So I settled in at the back of the crowd and prepared to wait. I waited and waited, and waited some more, watching as more customers came in the door and very few left, with people ignoring the “line” (huddle?) of people already there and pushing their way to the window. Unfortunately, the pharmacist did not happen to be one of those who would say, “Hey, she was here before you,” but instead simply waited on whomever pushed their money or prescription in her face first. This is also pretty normal for here. I started to get impatient, then caught myself and realized I had nothing to rush off to today, nowhere to be by a certain time, and I could afford to wait as long as my patience held out.

Well, after about 15 minutes, it was wearing a bit thin. Two older women had each pushed past me (literally making me take steps to save my balance), so finally I edged my own way up to the window. Yay! Finally I was going to get my stuff and get on my way! Until 3 nömrəli xanım (older woman number three) thrust her arm past my ear and the clerk waited on her. I turned around to the woman and asked, “Seriously??” She wouldn’t even look at me. So I decided enough was enough, blocking the way to the window so nobody could pull that on me again, and the clerk ignored my presence and waited on someone else.

That’s when I stormed out.

And I don’t think anyone but me thought anything of it.

So now I’m trying to figure out which is worse…intimidating people with my Obviously Foreign Presence so that they give me space and stare holes in my head with their eyes? Or being The Invisible Woman Amongst Us. There’s a fine line in there somewhere, I’m convinced.